Review: London Fields
London Fields is arguably the best example of cinematic slog, not only in recent memory but quite possibly of all time. A migraine of a movie, it aims to infuriate, exasperate, and excruciate and succeeds resoundingly on all counts.
Film adaptations of critically acclaimed novels may not always be successful, but more often than not they usually have something of value, something that can justify its existence. Not so with London Fields, which takes Martin Amis' post-punk, razzle-dazzle brew of post-apocalyptic dread, sex, murder, darts, and writer's block and turns it into an atrocious glop of joyless, aimless, and life-draining trash. If you somehow manage to care a quarter of a whit about either the characters or the goings-on, then you're a far better person than the majority of humanity.
The plot, if one can call it that, concerns four characters in particular. One is writer Samson Young (Billy Bob Thornton), who has alighted upon London during a time when it is undergoing some sort of ecological devastation in the hopes of curing his writer's block. Finding himself on the better end of an apartment swap with acclaimed writer Mark Asprey (Jason Isaacs), he meets atomic sex bomb Nicola Six (Amber Heard) or, as he describes her, "the event horizon of a black hole." Vying for her affection are two men on opposite ends of the financial and personality spectrum: dirtbag darts champion and forever in debt hustler Keith Talent (Jim Sturgess) and milquetoast millionaire Guy Clinch (Theo James). By confiding to Samson that she has the ability to foresee death, even her own, and that she will be murdered by someone in that bar, she turns herself and her two suitors into fodder for his novel-in-progress.
None of this is especially interesting and, at times, one suspects if director Matthew Cullen's sole intention in taking on this film is to capture Heard in various stages of undress. Heard, for her part, appears to believe that slinking constitutes some type of character development; she's a fetching and alluring presence to be sure, but this is the kind of role and the kind of playing that will make viewers believe she has little to no acting ability. The less said about Thornton, Sturgess and James, the better. Johnny Depp pops up to deliver a typically cartoonish portrayal as mob boss and darts expert Chick Purchase; at least he seems to be having a grand old time. Which the viewers could do the same.
London Fields
Directed by: Matthew Cullen
Written by: Roberta Hanley; based on the novel by Martin Amis
Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, Amber Heard, Jim Sturgess, Theo James, Cara Delevingne, Jason Isaacs, Gemma Chan, Jaimie Alexander, Johnny Depp
