Review: Holmes & Watson

Whilst it might elicit an accidental laugh or two, Holmes & Watson is mostly dead on arrival, as bereft of laughs as it is a reason for existing. Unfunny to the extreme, the cricket and yawn-inducing comedy is third time unlucky for stars Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly, who previously teamed for the infinitely better Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and Step Brothers, and also wastes the talents of a whole host of actors including British comics Hugh Laurie, Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon, not to mention Oscar nominee Ralph Fiennes.

There have been many incarnations - some good, some bad, and some downright ugly - of genius detective Sherlock Holmes and his trusty sidekick, Dr. John Watson and it's not too difficult to see why. Individually, the characters are interesting; together, they make for one of the greatest bromances ever created. That Holmes & Watson fumble on both these counts makes it especially disappointing. This version revamps Holmes as a man who masks his emotional incompetence with his deductive brilliance and Watson as his blindly devoted wingman. That's essentially it. It's as if the filmmakers thought they could generate an actual coherent story or have an instant recipe for comedy gold by the sheer act of casting Ferrell as Holmes and Reilly as Watson.

To be somewhat fair, there's a faint outline of a plot. After deducing that the man on trial is not, in fact, his arch nemesis Professor Moriarty (Fiennes), Holmes finds himself recruited for another case, this time involving a dead body found inside a giant birthday cake at Buckingham Palace. Called in to assist are American Dr. Grace Hart (Rebecca Hall) - cue numerous jokes about a woman being a doctor - and her mute assistant Millicent (Lauren Lapkus, undoubtedly the brightest thing in this dud of a film), who was reportedly raised by cats and to whom Watson takes a shine. Meanwhile, Watson starts feeling all the feels for the comely Dr. Hart and they're soon engaging in parodies of scenes from Ghost and The Thomas Crown Affair.

Sledgehammered throughout are numerous laborious bits, some involving Donald Trump-related humour and others revealing how the titular duo were responsible for thoroughly modern inventions like drunk texting and selfies. It's all absolute rubbish and the greatest mystery of all may be why this ever saw the light of day. An absolute must-miss.

Holmes & Watson

Directed by: Etan Cohen

Written by: Etan Cohen; based on characters created by Arthur Conan Doyle

Starring: Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Rebecca Hall, Ralph Fiennes, Rob Brydon, Steve Coogan, Kelly Macdonald, Hugh Laurie, Noah Jupe, Billy Zane, Lauren Lapkus, Pam Ferris, Bella Ramsey