Review: Father Figures

In Father Figures, cinematographer Lawrence Sher's unremarkable first outing as director, fraternal twins go on a quest to track down their real father and, in the process, learn to be there for one another. The film is about as generic and simplistic as one can get, but relies on its cast to provide some flavour.

Thus, the fraternal twins are portrayed by Owen Wilson and Ed Helms, who couldn't be more diametrically opposite to one another if they tried. Wilson is Kyle, a beach bum living in Maui, about to be a dad, all zen and mellow and carefree especially since he's still raking in the residuals from having his likeness on the bottle of BBQ sauce. Helms' Peter, on the other hand, is a divorced proctologist who can barely connect with his teenage son. He's bitter and uptight about the state of his life, and his feelings are heightened when their single mom Helen (Glenn Close) drops the bombshell that she lied to them about the identity of their father, whom her sons believed to be an English orphan who died of colon cancer.

It turns out that Terry Bradshaw (playing himself) - the Terry Bradshaw, four-time Super Bowl winner Terry Bradshaw - is their real father. So Peter and Kyle decide to head down to Miami to meet their father, who unquestioningly welcomes them with open arms. Of course, that barely takes up the first 30 minutes of the film, so screenwriter Justin Malen (Office Christmas Party) decides to stretch out the already flimsy premise and throw more potential dads for the brothers to track down. These include former stockbroker-turned-repo man Roland (J.K. Simmons), who's all tattoos and fifty shades of crazy and living with his mom (June Squibb) and Dr. Walter Tinkler (Christopher Walken).

Father Figures sort of ambles along, neither here nor there, not quite terrible yet nowhere near adequate. There are numerous references to how their mother was great in bed, which is naturally squirm-inducing for the brothers. Perhaps the only moment approaching genuine liveliness is when the brothers pick up a hitchhiker played by Katt Williams who, even at his most relatively bland, still manages to inject more energy into his brief appearance than Wilson and Helms do for the entire film.

Father Figures

Directed by: Lawrence Sher

Written by: Justin Malen

Starring: Owen Wilson, Ed Helms, Glenn Close, Christopher Walken, JK Simmons, Terry Bradshaw, Ving Rhames, Katt Williams, Harry Shearer, Retta, June Squibb, Katie Aselton