Review: Baywatch

If anything deserved to be called “Jiggle TV,” it was certainly Baywatch, which premiered at the end of the Eighties on NBC and reached peak popularity during its syndicated run. Centering around crime-solving lifeguards, it was a deliciously cheesy show that gave viewers exactly what they never knew they wanted: hot bods barely outfitted in spandex swimsuits running across the beach, plunging into and emerging from the water, and the ultimate beach babe herself, Pamela Anderson, whose assets were generously showcased in glorious slow motion, all the better for men and women the world over to ogle her.

Anderson was so iconic in the role as CJ Parker that it would be hard-pressed to find someone to match must less surpass her. Swimsuit model Kelly Rohrbach assumes the role in the film adaptation of the series but, as charming as she is, the one who truly figuratively fills Anderson’s shoes is none other than Dwayne Johnson, whose off-the-charts charisma more than keeps Baywatch afloat. Watching him rescue kids and scantily clad women, chase a baddie on a Jet Ski, or even simply going about his business as the leader of the Baywatch team is reason enough to see the film. That said, Baywatch proves itself an enjoyable piece of fluff, delivering buff bodies and bouncing breasts along with a tongue-in-cheek awareness of its source material as “an entertaining but farfetched TV show.”

The film begins as Mitch (Johnson) and his crew, including second-in-command Stephanie (Ilfenesh Hadera) and CJ, are holding tryouts to fill three open slots on their team. The lucky three turn out to be determined and determinedly buxom Summer (Alexandra Daddario), the dorkish and decidedly unbuff Ronnie (Jon Bass), and disgraced former Olympic swimmer Matt Brody (Zac Efron). Matt has been guaranteed a spot for PR reasons, a mandate which raises Mitch’s hackles to no end. He undercuts Matt’s cockiness by calling him a string of nicknames (Baby Gap, Malibu Ken, Bieber, and the meta High School Musical are but a few of Mitch’s digs), and is determined to make the party boy earn his place as part of the “family.”

Matt, meanwhile, is exasperated that Mitch is on a mission to uncover the drug ring taking over the beach. Mitch’s investigation leads him to Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra), a drop-dead gorgeous mogul who won’t let a persistent hulk like Mitch ruin her plans. Chopra certainly seems to be enjoying showing off her villainous streak, but the filmmakers don’t do much with the character nor do they capitalise upon the sizzling chemistry between Johnson and Chopra. Instead, screenwriters Damian Shannon and Mark Swift position Baywatch primarily as a bromantic action comedy in the same vein as the film adaptation of 21 Jump Street. It’s not a bad way to go since Johnson and Efron spark well off one another (to be fair, Johnson could probably mine comic gold being paired with a hat stand), but it does seem slightly odd that the women are reduced to mere decorative figures (various acting abilities aside, the female stars of the TV series were on equal footing with the male leads).

Time (and box-office receipts) will tell if there’s a sequel or two to be had but the film adaptation, whilst not doing anything out of the extraordinary to warrant its existence, is nonetheless a consistently enjoyable watch.

Baywatch

Directed by: Seth Gordon

Written by: Damian Shannon, Mark Swift; based on the TV series created by Michael Berk, Douglas Schwartz, Gregory J. Bonann

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Priyanka Chopra, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, Ilfenesh Hadera, Jon Bass, Hannibal Buress