Review: The Brothers Grimsby

What if James Bond had been born and stayed in a town like Grimsby where, according to Sacha Baron Cohen, boys grow up to be often overweight fish and chips-eating, pub-dwelling, soccer-loving hooligan breeders with dead end lives? That's one of the many questions raised in Cohen's spy action comedy, The Brothers Grimsby, but the most interesting one may be this: how about Mark Strong as the next James Bond?

Strong has been a familiar face to American and British film, theater and television audiences for decades, a constantly reliable and often striking presence in films as diverse as Syriana and Kingsman: The Secret Service. Dashing and debonair, with silkily brooding good looks, a deftness for both drama and comedy, and a certain je ne sais quoi - all qualities that would make him a prime candidate to take on the mantle of 007. The Brothers Grimsby isn't exactly the inadvertent audition tape that Layer Cake was for Strong's longtime friend and current Bond, Daniel Craig, but there are moments where it's all too easy to imagine Strong being given the license to kill. Besides, if Strong can withstand Cohen's apparently limitless arsenal of body humour involving incestual fellatio, sexual assault by a herd of elephants, and an anal spin on Dr. Strangelove's indelible image of Slim Pickens straddling a nuclear bomb, then he can surely survive the comparatively piddling dangers that befall Bond.

A particularly raggedy affair, The Brothers Grimsby doesn't so much set the table, plot-wise, as fling utensils in the air. Strong is super-spy Sebastian Grimsby, who finds himself on the wrong end of a manhunt after accidentally wounding a wheelchair-bound Jewish-Palestinian boy with AIDS and killing the leader of the World Health Organisation instead of taking out the assassin targeting actress and philanthropist Rhonda George (Penélope Cruz) during a charity event. The misfire was caused by Nobby (Cohen), who is ecstatic at being reunited with his beloved brother after 28 years and convinces the skeptical but desperate Sebastian to hide out in their hometown of Grimsby, a place that bills itself as the "Twin City to Chernobyl."

Once there, Sebastian finds himself dodging childhood memories, Nobby's numerous and ridiculously named children, and various armed men out to eliminate him. One of the film's most outrageous moments finds Sebastian ordering Nobby to suck the venom from the poisoned dart that just so happens to have pierced his scrotum. Strong's superbly matter-of-fact delivery of "It was a trickle of pre-ejaculate at most" is a thing to be savoured, as is any scene where he and Cohen clash in an awkward yet balletic tangle of limbs.

Lest you think that infecting Daniel Radcliffe and Donald Trump with AIDS or the brotherly oral sex is too ho-hum, then prepare yourself for the film's pièce de résistance - the brothers hiding in an elephant's vagina and being pummeled by one elephant penis after another. Cohen's shock and appall humour has never been one for the faint of heart, and this startling set-piece finds Cohen at the apex of uninhibited crassness.

Neither Nobby nor The Brothers Grimsby ranks amongst Cohen's best creations, but it's certainly not without its hilarious moments. Director Louis Leterrier, better known for The Transporter and Now You See Me, keeps things moving at a brisk pace but perhaps the film could have used a breath here and there; as it is, it feels too frenzied and scattershot. There's also a strong feeling that a great deal ended up on the cutting room floor as talented actors like Ian McShane, Rebel Wilson, Barkhad Abdi, and Gabourey Sidibe show up only to be disposed of minutes later. Even Isla Fisher, Cohen's offscreen wife and a typically energetic presence, is surprisingly listless as this film's Moneypenny.

The Brothers Grimsby

Directed by: Louis Leterrier

Written by: Sacha Baron Cohen, Phil Johnston, Peter Baynham

Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Mark Strong, Rebel Wilson, Penélope Cruz, Isla Fisher, Gabourey Sidibe, Ian McShane, Annabelle Wallis, David Harewood, Ricky Tomlinson, Johnny Vegas, Scott Adkins, Tamsin Egerton, Barkhad Abdi